Spend Time on Yourself After a Hard Breakup

So, it’s over. Before you go running to the freezer to grab your pint of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, let’s think about what this breakup really means.

Every relationship comes to an end for a reason. While two people may enjoy each other’s company, they are not necessarily compatible for a long-term relationship; and that is perfectly OK. While it stings to be on the broken up with side of the relationship, life will go on, probably for the better.

Here are a few tips to make the sting a little less painful. So turn off The Titanic, dry your eyes, and buckle up.

While every relationship is different, all break ups are hard. Leaving the person you have spent the last few months, or years, with is never easy. You let your guard down for this one person and when it doesn’t work out, you feel defeated and discouraged.

Whether you hear the words, “it’s not you, it’s me,” or “I just need time for myself,” the first phase of a breakup is the same: acceptance. Accepting that the relationship is over is hard to do. It is easier to grasp on to the glimmer of hope that he or she will come running back into your arms any day now.

You have to first be honest with yourself. Think about why the relationship didn’t work. Seek comfort with your friends and family and treat yourself. This is key.

You are not in a relationship anymore. This is the perfect time to focus on you. You don’t have to focus on or worry about what your significant other is doing anymore so reconnect with yourself.

Take up yoga—healthy for your body and mind. Women’s Health Magazine actually put together yoga work outs to help you recover from a break up.

If you are not a yogini, pick up a new hobby or one you used to enjoy. Staying busy will keep your mind off the break up and remind you of other important parts of your life.

Whatever you do, try not to dwell. Living in the past will bring you and those around you down. Negative thoughts will turn into negative mindsets if you let them. If you feel yourself regressing, turn to professionals for help. Your friends and family love you but will become frustrated if they have to boost your confidence every day.

If you feel like you really need a change of scenery, take a trip. Traveling will rejuvenate your mood and expand your mind beyond your own world and breakup at home. If traveling isn’t in the budget right now, read Eat, Pray, Love to live vicariously through one woman as she travels through Italy, India and Indonesia after a painful divorce.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir is a must-read for all women struggling after a break-up. Her raw emotions throughout the book are relatable and inspiring. It offers insight into why break ups occur and hope that it is possible to move on. One important lesson she shares is simple: “This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”

Before long you will better understand yourself and that ex-lover will be just another face on the street. Use this time to your benefit to re-discover what makes you happy.

Hilary Burns

HilaryManaging Editor

Hilary Burns is a senior at Wake Forest University from Cape Cod, Mass. Hilary has a passion for storytelling and has been published in multiple national publications including USA TODAY, Huffington Post and USAirways Magazine. She hopes to pursue a career in the exciting journalism industry after graduation in May 2014. When she isn’t writing or editing, Hilary is in a yoga class or planning a future dream trip to Europe.

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