So, you’re ready to venture into the exciting world of prostate massage.

You have lots of options here, including fingers or a special toy for the job.

I recommend using both and educating yourself about each.

This will give you the best chance of having a mind-blowing prostate orgasm.

Plus, when your fingers get tired, you can switch to the toy!

Engaging in prostate massage will not only bring pleasure, but enhance your overall repertoire of self-pleasure.

To kick-start this guide, I’ll cover some information you need before you go exploring down there.

Then I’ll cover preparation steps, how to massage your prostate, and the best tools to help you out with this.

By the end you should feel more than ready to create unforgettable P-spot sensations for yourself.

How to Massage Your Prostate and Find Your P-Spot

How to Pleasure Your Prostate

The prostate is a gland located a few inches inside the rectum:

If you have a penis, you likely have a prostate.

The prostate (or “P-spot”) is often likened to the female G-spot.

Both are located roughly the same distance inside the body, and these glands even produe similar feelings.

diagram of the prostate

The pleasure you experience from P-spot stimulation is different than penile sensations, just as clitoral stimulation differs from G-spot stimulation.

Prostate pleasure is an amazing experience for many men.

And by not exploring that territory, you’re seriously missing out!

To have a successful prostate massage experience, you’ll need to follow some simple guidelines.

I’ll walk you through them below.

Ignore the Prostate, at First

There’s no reason to rush right to the P-spot!

Anal play, in general, can be fun for anyone who has the equipment needed (in other words, everyone).

You can enjoy this type of stimulation regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

The anus is full of nerve endings and responds well to touch for many people. If you haven’t yet explored this territory, start out with anal play before moving onto the prostate.

Play with the outside of your anus (using lube) to get familiar with how that feels. You can gradually add degrees of penetration as you feel comfortable.

Experiment with adding this gentle anal play to ordinary penile masturbation. Figure out what feels good for your back door.

Prostate stimulation can feel very intense for some guys. So, take your time and start out small before you work your way up to playing with this gland.

Begin by Yourself

You can experience anal pleasure by yourself or with a partner. If you’re new to it, though, I recommend starting out solo.

It can be nerve-racking to let someone else poke around down there when you have no idea what you like. You may also be worried about cleanliness.

There’s no reason to have this fear, but it’s a common fear, nonetheless.

A normal bowel movement before anal play is typically enough to get rid of the potential for mess.

You might still be concerned about hygiene, though. For more information on cleanliness during anal, read my guide to anal hygiene.


As soon as you’ve taken the steps to feel clean, it’s time to start your solo anal experiments.

Once you get to know your own territory better, you’ll feel more comfortable with a partner exploring it.

Plus, you’ll learn what you like (which is a fun process in itself)!

Start External

Before you go poking around inside your rectum, start by stimulating your prostate from the outside. You can get familiar with how this gland feels when you press on it, then move onto experimenting with other ways to do that.

Here’s the deal:

If you aren’t sure how to find your P-spot externally, it’s pretty much located where your “taint” is. You’ll notice a bulge in that area and pressing on it will activate your prostate gland.

If you notice a sudden urge to urinate, you’ll know you’ve found it.

Checking Fingers

Both you and your partner should check your fingers to make sure your nails are trimmed and that neither of you have any cuts.

Long or jagged nails can tear the sensitive tissues in the anus. And going into anal play with cuts on your hands can lead to an infection.

If you or your partner are still squeamish, despite taking these precautions, there’s another solution.

Latex finger cots can protect your fingers from bacteria and provides a smoother surface for anal pleasure.

Even though anal fingering is perfectly safe without protection, some may have more peace of mind with one of these sheaths on.


Lubricant is extremely important for any type of anal play. The anus doesn’t lubricate itself, so you’ll have to supply that essential ingredient.

You can use either oil, water, or silicone-based product. Choose a type that’s specifically been formulated for anal play. Find my top 6 recommendations here.

The reason for this is that anal lubes have a thicker consistency. With a thicker lube, there’s more of a protective barrier between your sensitive anal tissues and whatever is being inserted.

Plus, when things are slippery, everything feels better and won’t hurt. People who claim anal play hurts probably didn’t use enough lube.

Peeing Before Prostate Play

As I mentioned before, pressing on the prostate can cause a sudden, strong urge to urinate. You won’t actually pee yourself from this.

But if you’re concerned about that, make sure to void your bladder before prostate play.

Taking the steps you need to feel comfortable is important before any sexual experience.

Experiment, A LOT

Everyone is different, and with the nerve endings in your anus, combined with penile pleasure and your P-spot, the possibilities are endless!

Some men only do anal play for P-spot stimulation, while others like butt stimulation regardless of whether this spot is hit.

The only way to know what gets your rocks off is by experimenting a ton.

To stimulate the prostate, you can use a toy that stays in place and flex your anal muscles.

Or, you can add an in-and-out motion while massaging the P-spot.

With these possibilities in mind, let’s look at the best toys for prostate massage.

Need Some Help Finding the P-Spot?

Just in case you don’t know, the prostate is located 3 to 4 inches inside of the anal canal. It’s right below your bladder and on the side of the rectum that’s facing your belly.

The prostate feels firm, but has some give to it. It feels different from the rest of your rectum, so you should be able to find it. If you can’t, it just means yours is farther up than average.

In this case, you’ll need to use a toy instead of your fingers.

When you get aroused, the prostate gets engorged with fluid. I recommend starting out any P-spot massage by getting good and aroused using your penis, first.

This will help the blood flow and put you in a relaxed, open state of mind. Once you’re in this mood, prostate play will feel so much better.

The Best Toys to Use for Prostate Massage

Why use just your fingers when there are specific products designed to give you the best prostate massage of your life?

Before I get into a few types of these toys, I first want to say that you must choose sex toys designed for anal.

Using an ordinary dildo, for example, comes with a risk of the toy getting stuck.

This isn’t a joke. It’s happened more than you may think!

So, before you hunt for the perfect tool for your prostate adventures, keep this in mind.

Here are some of the best sex toys to try out:

Prostate Massagers

Lelo Hugo Prostate Massager

Butt plugs are a great toy to use when you’re new to P-spot stimulation.

They’re bigger than your finger and can stimulate more of your anal cavity at one time.

But the best part?

They can be shaped specifically to hit your prostate.

That’s not to say you can’t use ordinary butt plugs for anal play. Just that you may have better luck with a prostate-focused toy.

Prostate massage butt plugs usually have a curve at the end, designed to hit your P-spot once the toy is inserted. Some of them come with a vibration feature, and others are a simple glass design.

Check out Jeff’s list of recommended prostate massagers here.

Vibrating Anal Beads

Silicone Anal Beads

Another fun option for P-spot stimulation is vibrating anal beads.

Everyone’s prostate is located in a unique spot. So, a toy that has many beads that you can insert one at a time can be perfect for finding yours.

I recommend starting out with tapered beads (smaller at the top) if you’re a beginner to anal sex toys. Eventually, you can introduce other types of anal beads to the mix.

Vibrating anal beads can create a lot of wild and pleasurable sensations in the bedroom. They typically come with many vibration settings including pulse, high speed, and more.

Check out Katie’s guide to anal beads for a product recommendation.

Penis Ring Anal Plugs

Penis Ring Anal Plugs

Penis ring anal plugs are exactly what they sound like:

A butt plug with a penis ring (aka cock ring) attached.

To use this type of tool, place the ring around the root of your balls and penis.

The combination of stimulation can create really explosive orgasms. If you’ve never used a cock ring before, I recommend trying one on its own before you use a penis ring anal plug.

Enjoy the Journey

Some people can get too caught up on the “goal” of having an orgasm and forget to enjoy the sexual experience.

Prostate massage can be a great way to learn to slow down and be patient with sexual feelings. Since the anal muscles take a while to warm up and relax, you have no choice but to take your time.

Some men may feel intense sensations immediately after finding their prostate. Other guys just feel the urge to pee and not much else. Others still won’t feel gentle stimulation and require more force.

Again, the only way to find what works for you is to play around and experiment.

And don’t forget the lube!