I get it:

You want to make your anal play experience as pleasurable as possible, without any discomfort.

Well, you’re in luck, because there’s a reliable way to do this:

Anal training.

And I’m ready to tell you all about it.

I’ll cover why anal training is necessary and walk you through the tips, toys, and actions that make it possible.

By the time you’re done with this article, you should feel empowered and on your way to pleasurable anal!

Anal Stretching for Beginners

What is Anal Training?

Anal training is a method for preparing the anus for anal sex. Although many people enjoy butt sex, it’s not possible without preparation.

Here’s the deal:

You wouldn’t start a new fitness regimen with extremely heavy weights.

You’d begin with lighter ones, and slowly increase the weight.

Anal training is kind of like that.

First, you have to make sure your anus is accustomed to penetration. This is done by playing with the anus more often, both with and without toys.

You’ll start small with a toy (or finger) and work your way up to larger items as you go.

The sensation will become more and more familiar. And as you get used to the feeling of having your back door penetrated, you’ll find it easier to relax.

And since relaxation is a key component of pleasurable butt play, you can probably already see why anal training is helpful.

Eventually, your training will make it possible to have full-on, mind-blowing pain-free anal sex.

The goal of this preparation is to get comfortable with the new sensations of butt play.

Anal training can be done alone, with your partner, or both. It makes butt sex safer, easier, and more enjoyable for the receiver.

But here’s the best part:

The anal training itself can also be pleasurable.

That’s right, the journey towards pleasurable butt play can be just as fun as the destination.

Is There a “Right” Way to do Anal Training?

There aren’t any official rules for how to do anal training. And there’s no telling how much you’ll need before you try it.

The point of anal training is to enhance your sexual experiences. And the best way to do that is to know what you want.

Define your goals with anal training:

Do you want to learn how to comfortably use lots of different anal toys?

Is your objective more about having fulfilling butt sex with your partner?

Or perhaps you’re just doing this out of curiosity and don’t know what you want. Whatever the case, anal training is going to be helpful for you.

Apart from a few important ground rules (which I’ll cover later), there is no right or wrong way to do this.

Anal Training Steps

When you’re using muscles you’re not used to using, you’ll have to do things you aren’t used to doing.

Think of anal training as priming your butt for new, exciting sensations.

Mental Preparation

The mind and body are connected and influence each other. This means that if you’re in a tense mood, your body will likely reflect that tension.


Pleasurable anal experiences are all about opening up and relaxing.

In other words, a stressed-out mood is the opposite of the right frame of mind for putting things in your butt.

For successful anal training, you must be able to relax at will. I recommend practicing deep relaxation before you move onto the physical aspects of anal training.

Deep breathing exercises are a good place to begin. Learning techniques like this also give you the benefit of enjoying your anal sex experiences more.

By teaching yourself how to relax, you won’t be as distracted by mental chatter.

As a result, you’ll be able to immerse yourself deeper in the pleasure you experience during anal play.

Setting the Mood

Another key aspect of anal training is setting the right mood for penetration.

That might mean sharing some wine with your significant other or lighting some candles. You could take a bath, give each other massages, or put on some relaxing music.

Do whatever you need to get into a calm state of mind. Make it a special event.

Unlike vaginal penetration, anal penetration isn’t something you can do spontaneously.

So plan out your anal training sessions (either alone or with a partner) ahead of time.

Try to choose a time when you have a few hours free and won’t be disturbed.

Choose Your Lube

Like relaxation, lubrication is an essential part of anal training.

The tissues in your butt aren’t as elastic as the ones present in the vagina.

Your anus and rectum won’t lubricate themselves, so that’s up to you to do!

There are a ton of lubricants on the market, but not all of them are equally beneficial for anal.

You’ll want to choose an anal lubricant with a gel consistency. Thicker lubricants don’t have to be applied as often and create a better barrier against uncomfortable friction.

You may use a silicone-based lube (they’re known to last longer), but water-based options tend to be more compatible with sex toys.

Vaginal lubes tend to have a thinner consistency that won’t work as well for back door fun, so stay away from those for butt play.

Apply plenty of lube both to the outer anal area and the object (finger, toy, or penis) you’ll be inserting.

If, at any time, you notice too much friction, that’s a sign to pause and apply more lube.

Consider reading our guide to the best lubes for anal sex.

Get Familiar With Your Butt

Before having anyone else come near your anus, you should explore the territory on your own.

You can begin by giving yourself a butt massage or gently caressing your outer anal area while you masturbate.

Once you’re familiar with that sensation, you can intensify the experience.

Using plenty of lubricant, experiment with dipping your fingertip into your anus.

You’ll probably notice that the opening is quite tense, initially.

Pay attention to what thoughts or feelings make it easier to relax the area.

Then, you can practice releasing some of this tightness during your solo anal explorations. This should all be done really slowly, over the course of multiple days or weeks.

Practicing releasing that tension will make it easier to insert more of your finger, then add a second or third.

Escalating slowly will help you later when you progress to inserting bigger objects.

Familiarizing yourself with this unexplored territory can increase your confidence when you add a partner to the mix.

Toys for Anal Training

Once you’ve gotten familiar with poking around your own anus and learned how to relax at will, it’s time to continue your anal training.

While you don’t need to use toys for this, it does make the process a whole lot easier.

The anal sphincter is a fragile muscle, and trying to insert something too large can cause damage. Instead, you’ll have to work your way up.

The best way to train yourself anally is to start with small toys and gradually increase their size.

And remember, never go beyond what feels comfortable!

Below, I’ll cover the best toys for anal training.

Butt Plugs

Butt Plugs

Butt plugs come in all shapes and sizes and are the beginner anal trainer’s best friend.

Even if you’ve never used one, you’ve probably heard of these popular sex toys.

Butt plugs are anal sex toys with a tapered shape for easy entry. Unlike anal dildos, these toys are designed to be inserted and left there for a period of time.

Here’s the deal:

A butt plug will relax and stretch your sphincter muscles, preparing you for anal play. Not only is it useful for anal training, but many find the sensation enjoyable.

The perfect beginner’s toy, butt plugs are simple and easy to use. Just lube it up, apply some lube to your anus, and gently insert it.

You may leave it there during sex, foreplay, or masturbation. Since it will stimulate the nerves in your anus, having an anal plug inside of you can intensify your orgasms.

Of course, as a beginner, you’ll want to select a small butt plug to start with.

When you’re ready to level up, you can graduate to a vibrating butt plug or select a larger size.

Review some butt plugs we like to recommend here.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are another good option for beginners interested in anal training.

They’re a chain of beads that you can insert, one at a time, into your anus.

Like a butt plug, you can leave anal beads inside of you during sex or foreplay.

Some people like to insert multiple beads and then slowly remove them, one at a time, for a more intense sensation.

Beginners should start with tapered anal beads as the smaller beads at the top will be easier to insert.

These are the perfect way to gradually stretch your anus to handle larger items and eventually, anal sex.

Find our anal bead recommendations here.

Anal Training Kits

Another good option for beginners is an anal training kit, complete with a variety of toys.

As a novice, you may have no idea where to start with selecting toys.

With a beginner anal kit, you only have to make one purchase and you get multiple toys to choose from.

This is usually one of the better recommendations for pure beginners.

Anal Vibrators

I don’t recommend starting with vibrating products if you’re new to butt stuff.

Instead, I think you should work your way up to sex toys that vibrate.

When you’re a beginner, penetrating your anus with anything can be such an intense sensation that vibrations simply aren’t necessary.

However, once you’re comfortable with inserting items in your anus, vibrating toys can be tons of fun.

Start with a small anal vibrator before moving onto dildos or anal sex.

Once you’re comfortable using some of the toys I just covered, you’re ready to graduate to anal sex!

Anal Toy Safety

There’s a right and a wrong way to use sex toys for anal training.

Here are a few factors to keep in mind to ensure that you’re being safe about your butt play.

  • Design: Always use toys that are specifically designed for the anus. Anal sex toys will come with a flared base or handle that ensures the toy doesn’t travel too far up the rectum and get stuck.
  • Size: As mentioned, when you’re new to using toys for anal training, the smaller the better. Being impatient won’t serve you well and can increase your risk of damage. Increase the width of the toys you use very, very gradually to ensure a pain-free butt play experience.
  • Cleanliness: You must pay extra attention to cleanliness with anal sex toys due to exposure to trace amounts of fecal matter. Always wash your toys (and hands) after each use, and store them in a plastic bag or pouch between uses.

Be Patient So You Feel Completely Comfortable

Anal training can be a slow process for some, but try not to get frustrated. Being frustrated can lead to rushing, which can increase the odds of discomfort or injury.

While the anal sphincter is a strong muscle, it’s also fragile. Get into a relaxed state of mind, practice deep breathing, and remember to go slow.

Remember that sex is supposed to be a fun, pleasurable experience.

If, at any point, you notice yourself getting impatient, it’s probably time to slow down. You can always return to your anal training later, when you’re in a calmer state of mind.

How Long Should You Train?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. The amount of anal training you need depends on how you feel.

You’ll know you’re ready to move up to a bigger toy by how a smaller one feels.

And you’ll know it’s time to progress to anal sex when you can comfortably take a toy equal in diameter to your partner’s penis.

Continuing Your Training

Anal training isn’t something you only have to do once. Like any other muscle, if left alone, your anus will return to the way it was before you trained it.

For this reason, anal training must be a continuous process.

If it’s been a few days, weeks, or months since your last anal play session, begin with a smaller toy. Then, you can work your way up to anal sex again.

You’ll likely notice that after you’ve gone through anal training once, the process is quicker each time.

Hopefully, you now realize that anal play never has to be painful. As long as you take the time to do some anal training, there’s no reason you have to experience discomfort.

Anal play can be done for practical reasons or to spice up your current sex life with your partner.

Just remember to be patient and take things slow.

Never force yourself to go beyond what you’re comfortable with.

And, of course, always use plenty of lube.