Getting married marks one of the most profound transitions in an individual”s life. A marriage or life-time commitment represents not only the establishment of a new phase in your relationship, but the creation of a new identity as a couple. Marriage requires two individuals to renegotiate personal issues. This includes:s where and how to live; how to celebrate holidays; renegotiate relationships with friends and other family members, and all the other choices that previously affected only the individual.
Every person enters marriage with a set of unspoken expectations based largely on past experiences – expectations for how spouses relate to each other; how they express affection; how they handle conflict, finances, and stress. And just as children undergo different stages at various ages, marriages also undergo developmental tasks at different stages of the commitment. The first major task of the family is for each spouse to develop both intimacy and independence.
According to McGoldrick (1999), there appears to be a number of factors that make marital adjustment in the beginning phase more difficult:
1. The spouses come with marked differences in power, status or career options
2. One partner tries to isolate the spouse from work or family and friends to control them financially
3. Spouses” family backgrounds are significantly different
4. Marital patterns in either extended family were unstable.
Here are 5 common signs that your relationship is no longer healthy:
1. When you don’t feel like you can be yourself. You feel that to make your spouse happy you must hide many sides of yourself.
2. Feeling emotionally silenced – you no longer feel like you can show your true feelings.
3. Feeling that you can never do anything right and you second-guess yourself all the time.
4. Your spouse is always the center of attention and your agenda or feelings don’t matter.
5. Your inner voice is telling you to leave.
Staying in a marriage or a relationship against your better judgment is usually an unhealthy lack of action. However, early in the marriage or relationship before the dynamics gets too entrenched, the relationship has a better chance to change and succeed if the couple seeks professional help.
Are you confronting difficult issues in your life and feeling alone and unable to move beyond them? I am an experienced Clinical Social Worker and offer understanding and empathy to help you move forward, accomplish your desired personal growth and achieve greater satisfaction with your life. I use a variety of therapeutic techniques, including cognitive-behavioral and insight oriented therapies, to help you accomplish your goals. My approach to therapy is practical, straightforward, collaborative and supportive.